Today was all sorts of hell for me. I went home defeated. Unfortunately, things still had to get done so I couldn't really retreat under the covers just yet. I don't think I'll be able to until after graduation. We're almost there but at the same time, it feels like I'm just dragging my feet. Where is my heart? Where is my head? These are the questions. What I know is, they're nowhere near me now. Either, my head is too high up in the clouds or my heart is still under construction. I have to find them soon. I have to find myself soon. I'm too lost to even think about stepping into a much more complicated reality than the one I'm currently in. I'm afraid that if I do, I might end up losing myself completely.
On a lighter, less tragic note..I do know that I'm still very blessed, especially with the people around me who never fail to show me the light and the good. As a very good example, my Ate brought me home a large Purple Potato Latte from Subspace Coffee (new favorite). The drink ended up as my dinner (what diet). I love my Ate! And I love random things like this that make me look at life and say, "Challenge Accepted!" Quality people make life worth it and I'm happy to say, I know plenty.
Why is it that I find myself blogging at the weirdest of hours..apparently I've acquired a nocturnal lifestyle without even knowing it (no thank you, school stress). Anyway I really hope I can post something of value here soon. I have so many in mind, so many plans. All I need is to follow through. To be honest, I've always kind of struggled with that.
TTYL,
Mercemarie
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